Being With "Without"

It's a lot easier than it sounds, actually. The whole "doing without" concept is way underrated. You think a lot more, and sometimes you get so bored that you honestly can't help but do the "right" thing. Which is subjective of course, very much person to person. In my case, I sometimes find myself voluntarily reading. Which is strange to hear, or.. read, I guess, since most people have this huge misconception of me that I'm just this big ol' bookworm that basically drinks novels, eats whole a whole trilogy for breakfast, and then dumps out whole chapters when I do the do in the b-room. Well, it isn't true, and that's not something I'm proud to admit. I don't read nearly as much as I used to, and sometimes I have these things I like to call "novelty urges" where I get this intense craving to do something I consider a novelty, a rare pastime that some people do but I usually don't (like read or commit myself to a bath) and I get a few pages in.. Then I either just feel so insanely tired that I couldn't possibly go on, or I get bored. Thus sates the novelty urge, and it retires to its den for a few weeks.

So aside from reading, I've been searching for ways to find internet. I spent part of one day walking around my house, trying to find a signal from some unlocked network near my house (FAILED), then I walked down to the laundromat for about an hour before my mother's laptop started going out on me (FAILED), and now I typically just bum off my friend's interwebs. It's strange to know that my internet time is limited. I don't know exactly what to do when it's available, but I find my mind subconsciously coming up with a list of "Things That Interest Me That I Would Search Google For If I Could" when I'm lazing around at home. This list magically vanishes as I cross the threshold of my front door, which is ironically more of a side-back-side door thing, and then internet really doesn't serve me a lot of purpose. I think it's humorous/interesting how we will torture with "things that could be" until we have acquired the means to use them. "As soon as I get a job, I'll save for college." or "Now that school is back in, I'll do all my homework on time and take notes like crazy." or "Once I get out of prison, I promise I'll never drive, smoke weed, and tote my expensive Asian prostitute around like my sickly old grandmother every time I leave the house." It never lasts. You save a fifty here and there the first month. You take your notes diligently for the first week. That hooker basically lives in your car, taunting you with alcohol and weed. It's a lot easier to say you'll do (good) things when you have no real way of doing them. And that's my wisdom for today! Good night y'all, I'll post again someday soon.