Re-Entering the Real World

So I'm trying to take steps to re-entering the real world. Of course, I'll never know when my Elsa phase is truly over until long after (hence the title of this blog) and I might honestly miss it. Having so much time to myself have been so freeing, and it saddens me to know that life's obligations, usually things you have literally no control over, are going to steal away any form of contentment you can muster up. If I don't return, I will be perceived as insensitive, but ultimately I think I'll be less happy to return. The world is not a good place to undergo any sort of personal changes, because they WILL affect others and reflect negatively back on you. This is sad, that I must throw away where I found comfort in order to return, only to satisfy others?

Sacrifice, sacrifice, I know. Everyone loves to talk about how you should always put others before yourself, but sometimes, I JUST WANT TO DO THINGS FOR ME. And I don't honestly care if that's "selfish," because everyone is selfish. There are a million things during the day that you could do to help others, and by failing to do them, we are all being selfish. As generalized and far-fetched as I made that sound, there must be some truth to it, or I wouldn't feel so insanely in the right. But, all fun rides have an end, and I just hope the picture taken of me comes out okay. I have a feeling it won't, but I won't know until later, when people are comfortable enough with me again to tell me what they think.

And for what am I doing this? I'm not sure. To leave a good reputation when I'm gone? I'll be gone, why do I care? I'm leaving so that I won't have to bother with reputation at all, so why do I care so damn much? I never have any idea about anything lately. It isn't until later, as per the theme of my life, that I notice how stupid my decisions were. I want to be able to look back a few months into my past, at any point in my life, and be satisfied, but it is so rare for me to be proud of who I have been.

And that, children, is sad.